|
 by Dr. Rita Louise
In today’s day and age, the idea of being accountable is a concept that seems to be slipping into dark reaches of our past. We often hear this word being used in relationship to businesses and our government. For example, when hurricane Rita struck, fingers were pointed at the head of FEMA, holding him accountable for the problems encountered.
Accountability is associated with responsibility; however, they are not one and the same. Responsibility relates to a set of duties or expectations that are placed upon us or an organization. Accountability, in turn states that you are answerable for your actions and inactions, both good and bad. Thus if you are responsible for doing something and don’t do it or only do a half-assed job at it, you can, and probably should, be held accountable for it.
While the concept of accountability can be easy to see when looking at the rolls and responsibilities of our government and the corporations that provide us with products and services, accountability also applies to us in our daily lives.
When we are accountable, especially to ourselves, we take responsibility for our own lives. We strive to understand our world and then modify our practices and behaviors to meet our objectives. We express a willingness to make choices that help to serve or contribute to a desired outcome. It implies that we are self-motivating, self-initiating and self-reliant. Most importantly, it reflects a willingness to take action and follow a specific course so that our desired goals can be achieved.
People who practice accountability look for and seek to find their problems and weaknesses and will take steps to repair or correct them. When we are not accountable we tend to blame others. We are quick to complain and slow to act. We choose to ignore the issues in our lives. Instead of correcting a problem, we tend to put them off or act confused, helpless or do the minimum required in order to alleviate pressure from the world around them.
In the words of Donald Trump, “When we want to do something, we find a way, but when we don’t, we complain” .
Let me give you an example…my dad is very prone to getting gout. Gout is a condition where uric acid crystals form in the body, causing pain and inflammation. It is often associated with eating a diet high in protein and not drinking enough water to help excrete the uric acid from the body.
Now, if my Dad held himself accountable for his own health and healing, he would drink plenty of water, incorporate more fruits and vegetables into his diet and lose some weight – but he doesn’t. Instead, he goes to the doctor and gets a pill to relieve the symptoms and then complains about the pain and discomfort he is experiencing.
Here’s another example. Recently, there have been a number of commercials on TV that advertise getting a college degree online. The commercials typically start something like – “I’ll never get out of this dead-end job. I don’t have a college degree. I can’t afford to quit my job and go to school full time. My life will never change.” The commercial will then go on to talk about how you can get a degree online and move into the career of your dreams.
To me, what this commercial speaks to is accountability.
There are hundreds if not thousands of middle aged family men and women around the US who work full time and go to school part time in order to achieve a goal they are aspiring to. Like the people in the commercials, they realize that there is no future in what they are doing and are working to bring about changes in their lives.
They see a problem, identify a solution and work to correct it.
Take a moment to think about a problem or an area in your life that you would like to experience some changes…Do you hate your job, perhaps you want to lose weight, quit smoking or take more time to relax.
What is keeping you from having these things – the things that you desire in your life?
In my work with my client’s, I have noticed a number of limiting beliefs that arise when talking about making changes in our life. We may feel apprehensive about taking a first step. We may allow the fear of new things to keep us locked into old patterns of behavior. We may think we don’t deserve it, aren’t smart enough to achieve it or it may hurt someone else if we have it. All of these beliefs keep us trapped, unable to move forward.
In addition, I have noticed something else that interferes with our ability to be accountable for the direction our lives take. This is the concept of putting our energy into our goals. When we are accountable, we aspire to do our best. We work to the highest level we can achieve. What many people think is that they can do the minimum, and then are disappointed when they don’t get the results they desire.
This can be seen in individuals who strive to lose weight. I’m sure everyone has heard stories of someone who has lost a significant amount of weight on one kind of diet or another and then gained it all back? What these individuals fail to realize is that while dieting is important to do in order to lose the weight; the ultimate goal is really about changing your relationship to food. Thus, when these individuals looses the desired weigh, they end up going back to their old routines and habits and over time, regain all of the weight they have lost.
Here’s another example. My son is in high school. For his English class, he had to write a report. He was given a paper identifying all of the elements that were to be included, including a cover page, a bibliography, three pictures and 4 pages of text double spaced. When his project was done, this is what he turned in: a cover page, a bibliography and a 4 page report which included 3pictures. That was it….
Now when I was going to school, that project would have been graded at a C at best. It met the minimum requirement. Instead, my son received an A. He received an A, because he had met the minimum requirement. There was no impetus, no motivation for him to do more or better. He had met all of the specified requirements and since he did this he was guaranteed and exceptional grade.
Another area in which I have noticed people having problems is that sometimes we will look down the road to where we want to go and become overwhelmed at the amount of time and energy that may be required to get there. So instead of taking one step at a time, they give up before they even get started.
So what can you do to be more accountable to yourself and the direction your life is taking?
Here are a few simple ideas…
First, stop and reflect on your life. What areas are working for you and what areas are you experiencing problems? Identify the areas in your life would you like to make changes. Even if you identify more than one, you don’t need to tackle them all at once. Just pick one. Select the one that you think will bring about the biggest change and help you to experience more joy, freedom or pleasure in your life.
With your idea in hand, ask yourself, what can I do today to help me get to and achieve this goal. That’s right, just think about today. Your task today may be to make a phone call, go online and do some research, throw away all of the junk food that is in your cupboards, or drink 1 more glass of water than you did yesterday.
Once you have completed this first step, then again, ask yourself, what do I need to do now or next…
The tasks that you choose do not need to be hard or overwhelming. They don’t need to take up hours and hours of your time. Even if you spend as little as 15 minutes a day working toward your new goal, you will then be 15 minutes closer to achieving it.
Don’t beat yourself up if you mess up, miss a day or go back on your plan. So what, you missed a day. It happens to all of us. Just recognize it and then shake off the dust and start off anew tomorrow.
And as the days go by, take the time to look back at the progress you’ve made. Acknowledge and validate the good work that you have done and the steps that you have taken to bring about improvements in your life. What you may discover is that it is a lot easier than you think and much more fulfilling than you could have ever imagined.
Most importantly, recognize that you are now taking responsibility and being accountable for the direction your life it taking.
Abraham Lincoln once said, "The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time".
|
